I’ve written and re-written this post what seems like a hundred times in my head. It’s been a hard one to write.
The short story is that I’m pregnant. We are thrilled. I am seven weeks along, and due at the end of September.
There is a much longer story though too. I’ll try to shorten it some. After years of infertility, there is still a part of me that feels almost like I have to justify the fact that I now have (again) what so many women still long for.
On the other hand, I want to shout from the rooftops “Look what God did!” It wasn’t supposed to be easy for us to have children.
This pregnancy has not been without its surprises and fears though. After my miscarriage, I quit charting my cycles. I was tired of the emotions and was just ready for my cycle to return. So I put the BBT thermometer away and just quit. One day, I noticed possible ovulation symptoms, so I marked the date just in case. I caved a couple days early and tested on Stephen’s 30th birthday. To my surprise, there was a VERY faint second line. Ironically, Stephen wasn’t surprised at all.
Because my last cycle was my miscarriage, and was back in November, my OB worked me in almost immediately. That’s when the worry started. They did an ultrasound to date the pregnancy, and didn’t see a heartbeat. They scheduled another ultrasound for me two weeks later.
I called my mom on the way home from that appointment and told her the news, doing my best to keep from crying. I was terrified. I’d known that it was possible it was just too early, but it was SO hard not to worry.
The other ultrasound was this morning. We saw one healthy baby with one tiny little beating heart. That was the one thing I wanted to see today, and God was gracious enough to allow us to see that.
In retrospect, everything makes sense. We found out about this pregnancy at 3 weeks and 4 days. That is insanely early, but explains the VERY light tests and not seeing the heartbeat. Another thing is I’m pretty much exactly as far along as I suspected. That was pretty neat to discover (and was also thanks to everything I learned through all those years of infertility).
It is very strange to be typing this after all our years of infertility. We tried to conceive for almost six years. Now, here I am, pregnant again, for the third time in a year (we found out about the pregnancy before Caleb’s first birthday). That blows my mind. It also really blows my mind that we will now have two children under the age of two. It is something that I NEVER expected.
So. That’s my big announcement. Isn’t God GOOD? I am humbled and amazed to see how He chooses to work.
