I am thankful

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I am thankful for so many things, but tonight I am thankful for my three children.

I am thankful that God gave me children at all – when I am one who is not “supposed” to have any children at all.

I am thankful that God allowed us to adopt Samuel. I am thankful that He brought that precious little boy into our lives. I listen to Samuel sing – with such an innocence that I am reminded of how I am to come to God. Like a child. Like MY child. I am thankful for my Samuel.

I am thankful for the adoption loss that we experienced. The failed match that we had to walk away from. That failed match, though painful, if allowed to go through, would have kept us from having our sweet Samuel.

I am thankful for my Caleb. My boy who seems to always smile. My child that we weren’t supposed to be able to conceive. My child who is a mirror image of his daddy, yet whose personality is so much like my own.

I am thankful for my third child. The child we lost to miscarriage just two weeks ago. I didn’t blog about it then because I simply didn’t know how. God took that sweet little one Home with Him two weeks ago today. That very early miscarriage opens a new chapter in the book of infertility and loss for me, one I was hoping would never open. I am thankful for the short amount of time I did have with this little one. And when I grieve, God is near. In my quiet time, He reminds me how He sees my pain, how He is my comfort. I am thankful for the peace that He alone can give, spreading His love over my hurting heart like a healing salve. God is good.

So tonight, I am thankful.

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10 thoughts on “I am thankful”

  1. Melody

    Thank you for your honesty and your ability to put into words what I have struggled to do. I’m in the same boat right now, and while it’s not fair, it is the will of God.

    Praising God for this, albeit brief, miracle.

    Bless you today!

  2. Sweet Melody – I am so very sorry. I will be praying for God’s comfort to surround you and for you to feel the warmth of his embrace as you remember your precious angel.

  3. Melody, I’m sorry to hear about this. I don’t know what it is like to have this kind of a loss, but I do understand infertility.

    I’m praying that God will shed His grace and mercy on you.

  4. Thank you, Amy.
    Sunny – thank you too.
    Dana, I wasn’t able to even process all of it until I sat down during my quiet time one morning and gave it all to God. The difference that made is absolutely amazing.
    Susan, thank you.

  5. Melody,

    I am so sorry for your loss, I also had a miscarriage although 4 yrs ago, I am glad your finding comfort in God through this, for me is was much easier dealing with my loss when I gave it all to him and asked him for his help.
    May God Bless you and lots of hugs to you,
    Dana

  6. Melody,
    I don’t have any words… I just want you to know that I love you dearly and I am so so sorry. Your strength and faith are an inspiration.
    Sunny

  7. Dear Melody,

    I am so, so sorry for your loss. I, too, experienced a miscarriage, though it has been several years ago now. You’re in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks for sharing.

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