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Just a thought. How do you react to stress?
I noticed tonight that I don’t handle certain types of stress very well. I’m currently on a medication that messes with my moods – making me easily irritable at the drop of a hat. Thankfully, I take the last few doses of it this week. But I’m not handling it well at all. I snap at my dear, loving husband so easily. . .just tonight he was late for work because we were trying to settle a disagreement (It wasn’t an argument – Stephen never got mad, lol!).
I sat down after he left and just cried. I don’t even like myself on this medicine, yet it is imperative that I take it. It just makes me wonder what I need to do to change. Pastor Brian’s message tonight was on our response to stimuli and how we choose to react in certain situations. It makes me think about how I need to start noticing the little signs that I’m getting aggravated, and then take steps to ensure things end there and not in an argument.
That seems to be a part of growth, though. I suppose if I denied there was a problem there would be no growth, and no change.
So I guess I’m off to do some serious thinking. This moodiness has got to stop! Now, if I could just see that I’m getting moody before I snap at Stephen!
Melody, This was a strange synchronicity, as you expressed exactly what was passing through my own mind today. I too am on medication which makes me irritable and snappy, and I am absolutely foul to the wonderful man who adores me. I say hurtful, nasty things, and I don’t even know myself. Before I started taking the medicine, I was an easy-going and cheerful person. Now I feel like a stranger to myself, and I really don’t like this new “me” in the least. I try to hard not to “explode” and react so much to things, but the medicine just seems to take over my mind. Then I feel guilty and cry afterwards, just like you. I do so much sympathise with your problem.
Try not to blame yourself – it is the medication speaking and not you, and I’m sure your husband realises that. I find that getting some alone time helps – just sitting down with a spiritual book can soothe the frayed nerves and give a different perspective. I’m sorry you are going through this, but in a way it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone with my problem.
One thing that helps me is to walk outside and have a little time by myself. I know it’s not easy with a little one. Even if you watered some plants. I’ve been known to hose down the patio or driveway. A couple of years ago my dh and the girls gave me a porch swing for Christmas. If I catch myself and then go outside and sit for just a little while I’m able to hear the Lord better. I think it may be the walls closing in on me, makes me feel closed off. I’ve even gone into my bathroom and just stared out the window to get the feeling of being outside. I hope this will help you in some small way, or maybe just spark an idea of something that will help you.