Tears

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I was catching up on some blogs this morning for a few minutes. One of the ladies mentioned that she believed that insulin resistance may have a link to infertility.

I hit the comment button to leave her a comment about how I agreed with her, but I didn’t get very far. I started to explain a little bit of our situation, but then it just hit me again just how long it’s been for us with no pregnancies.

For those of you that can become pregnant easily, please be thankful for the gift of fertility that God has given you. There are many of us who would love to become pregnant so easily, but cannot.

I never did finish those comments this morning. I had to close the comment window, because I was crying. It’s just too hard some days. And today, it just hit me harder than at other times. I’m not exactly sure why; it just did. It was just to painful to see my own words, my own story, staring back at me this morning.

I long to be able to give Little man a sibling, but God’s ways are not my ways. I know He has a bigger plan than what I can see right now. In church Sunday night, the preacher mentioned that God often breaks us so that He can use us better. The breaking process is painful – often very much so. But I want God to use me. I don’t like the breaking process, but if that is what it takes to prepare my life for His use, then so be it.

I wonder what God has in store for my life. I wonder how God will choose to use my life to glorify Him. Will He use my infertility to speak to other women?

I also added another page to my blog. A couple years ago I typed up our infertility story to put on my Tranquil Harbor website. In the past couple of days, I felt like I needed to add my journey here on my blog. I don’t know how God will use it, but maybe it will encourage someone else. Maybe another hurting precious lady will realize she is not alone.

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3 thoughts on “Tears”

  1. Melody, I am a 25 year old Married Christian Mom from SC who has one living Child and one child in Heaven. I also long to have more Children however I am unable to have any more children due to Hormonal Issues. I long for the day to be able to have more children and then I hear other People Complain that they are pregnant again and don’t want to have any more children. I just want to walk up to them and say don’t you see how much of a blessing you have been given from God above.

  2. Melody, I am a 25 year old Married Christian Mom from SC who has one living Child and one child in Heaven. I also long to have more Children however I am unable to have any more children due to Hormonal Issues. I long for the day to be able to have more children and then I hear other People Complain that they are pregnant again and don’t want to have any more children. I just want to walk up to them and say don’t you see how much of a blessing you have been given from God above.

  3. I’m sorry for what you’re going through! I experienced a small amount of that myself for two years. I remember crying a lot, and being glad for my friends but dying inside at the same time. But God used my doctor and medicine to give us two of our three children, then baby number three was just His little bonus to us. The doctors had said it was impossible for me to conceive without medical assistance, but that “impossible to conceive” baby is now my sweet 12 year old girl. I don’t know what God has in store for you, but I do know that He makes no mistakes; He knows every path that we take – you will come forth as gold!

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